Yesterday I was having a conversation with one of my colleagues about circumstances in her life and all the changes that we are currently going through in the world around us (As I write this blog post, we are in week 8 of the global lock down due to COVID-19).
We were talking about the fact that we can’t hug our friends and having any kind of gatherings of more than 5 people are forbidden and the list goes on and on. What we both have realized is one of the many benefits to our current global situation is the fact that we are being forced to stay at home (some with a lot of time on their hands). The paradox it seems is that time has sped up and slowed down all at once. Does that ever happen to you? It’s 4pm in the afternoon and you can’t even figure out where the day went. Another surprise is that it’s May 1st! How can it possibly be half way through spring already! It’s a phenomenon I experience quite a bit in my life, but that’s a discussion for another day.
Yesterday, in all our ramblings about how fast, and slow, time is going by, my colleague was expressing her deep desire to make many changes in her life. The main one being the fact that she never wants her business life to return to the way it was before. It was rushing from one meeting to the next, looking after employees, organizing her company and being the main breadwinner in her home. All in all it’s a ton of responsibility and she just doesn’t want it anymore.
Do you ever feel like this? Do you ever just want to run away and ditch all your responsibilities? As she expressed this, I could feel her about to break down and cry because I think this was the first time she actually said it out loud; articulating what she was really feeling deep down inside. I know she already knew this, I think she just never allowed herself to ‘go there’ until now. And, although it was liberating, I’m sure it was also as scary as hell because my colleague doesn’t have the answers, can’t imagine a plan ‘b’ and doesn’t know what she would do instead?
When we are stuck in the ideals of our humanness (is that even a word?), we get ourselves in these impossible ruts. We create these lives for ourselves that are so filled with ‘stuff’, responsibilities, chores, to do’s and so on, that we forget about what’s really important and essential. We forget about our “why’s”. Why does anything really matter? What’s all the busyness we’ve created for ourselves really getting us in the grand scheme of life? And what’s worse is we never give ourselves the time or the permission to sit quietly so we can imagine life a different way; entertaining possibilities we’ve never thought of until now.
Why do we think we have to have everything figured out? If that’s the way we’ve always done things, may I suggest maybe this whole world pandemic situation and purpose is for us to re-examine our lives as we retreat to the cocoon-like surroundings of our homes! Maybe the grand plan all along was to allow ourselves the time for reflection so we could evaluate and decide what we will and will no longer tolerate in our lives when the holding pattern we’re currently experiencing lifts and we are back to jobs, back to work and back to whatever we think we are supposed to get back to.
Chaos breeds creativity and certainty. Give yourself permission to simply not know for now how life is going to be post-lockdown. Take some paper or a journal and give yourself time to sit quietly, while reflecting and imagining your life the way you really want it to be; a life that doesn’t beckon your heart to want to just run away from it all. How does that sound? And when you’re done, do something creative and fun! Play like a child so you can get those creative juices flowing again. Whether that’s painting, colouring, cooking, dancing, walking or designing stationery. Do something that brings you joy and allows you to forget about what you want to run from…just for now. I promise you will see your life in a different light and you will be ready to soar forward with new eyes and a new zest for living!
Married By Mandi- www.marriedbymandi.ca